Inspiration from the Actions of Others
In Malibu Beach. Photo: Nir Livni. Wearing Daughters of Culture.
Ever read something that compels you or affects you in some way and you think, “I could’ve written that!”? Not in a sense of competitiveness like “I could’ve written that better…” but simply, "I could do something like that.". If not writing specifically, maybe you were inspired by a skill, activity, or that hobby you saw someone doing well. That's how I've felt the past few years as I've watched my list of unwritten writing ideas get longer and longer on my Notes app, with no progress on my own personal blog. Sure, I've maintained my business site and I've been writing for other sites, but creating a place to share my journey has been something I've been wanting to do for many years now.
Well, the inspiration finally caught up with me and I made it to my first blog post on "Rima the Jungle Girl". This post has been a long time coming - I purchased the domain a few years ago. Sitting on the idea, I felt like I was waiting for the time when I could do it well. The final push of inspiration to finally go for it came because lately, I've been choosing to surround myself with people that "create" and are consistently positive, helping me to put the wheels in motion through the witnessing of their work unfolding. I decided to be a "yes woman", I guess you can say. For so long, I was caught in the downward spiral of negativity and was surrounding myself with the wrong kinds of energy and relationships. I realized that I was attached to people and relationships that were no longer serving my highest Self, and decided to cut some ties.
Yay, first blog! Photographer: Nir Livni
There were no sobbing goodbyes or bitter conversations, just a simple release of pressure and responsibility to stay connected to something that was toxic. I figured these people would come back around eventually if life had that in store, but for me, it was time to let go of nostalgia and constriction so I could create space for spiritual elevation. On the blog, I'll talk a lot about these topics as well as culture, shame, guilt, and it's mental effects and physical effects on the body - something I worked through during group therapy.
Now, I choose to spend my time with people that are making a positive change in the world, are living a life of inspiration, and are spending their time in productive, fulfilling ways. I find that I'm enlightened and inspired by those I am around versus feeling negative, spiteful or frustrated by my relationships. When you are surrounded by people that support you, are positive, truly want you to succeed, and are also doing something beneficial for the world and themselves simultaneously, it inspires you to find that spark within yourself. The capacity to be great is within each and every one of us, and in a co-creative cycle, we can ignite that within one another. The difference between the capacity to be great and being great, then, lies within the doing and the being! The secret of success is believing it's possible, rounding up your crew, making a plan, and doing it. You act as a mirror, reflecting your creativity, positivity, and joy to others as they reflect it back to you. Sometimes, we have to work the kinks out and we might fail a few times before we get the right formula (those who know me well know I've "failed" many times in the pursuit of my dreams). I read a quote on Instagram that said,
“The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.”
and it struck a chord within me because it's so true! In yoga classes, I tell my beginner students not to look around the room at the more advanced students with frustration, jealousy or shame, but rather to see their abilities as magnificent and something to look forward to as it reveals to us our own capabilities. Close to no one can do a handstand or crow pose on the first try - it comes with the repeated showing up, the trying and the failing before it works it's self out one day (or maybe you never get to that "end pose", who cares). The beauty lies with the human experience of the journey! The excitement, the fear, the disappointment, the happiness - all the emotions that we have come to this earthly realm to experience.
Our crew at my first workshop in Santa Teresa, Costa Rica November 2014. A "small" group might seem like a failure to some - but to me, it symbolized another necessary step on the path to my bigger dreams, a manifestation of dreams into form! At Hotel Tropico Latino.
Failing is subjective, anyway. It’s human nature to doubt our capabilities towards success to a certain extent, especially when we haven't been taught positive self-talk skills. When the fear disables us from even trying towards that thing we want to be or do, then we have truly failed. As an entrepreneur with numerous passions and skills, I’ve tried and failed more times than I’d like to count. The difference is that I don’t see those times as failures in the conventional way that society might. I see them as stepping stones – necessary links in the chain – on my journey to success. When I look back to how I got to where I am now, it's been a culmination of micro-victories and micro-failures and all the skills and lessons I've learned along the way, paving a path to the current, joyous, beautiful present moment.
I walk through my days with the knowingness that I can be of greatest benefit by living my life as an example and then sharing that openly and honestly. By believing in myself and loving myself, I achieve the truest capacity to believe in and to love you. In this month's issue of Psychology Today, Pamela Weintraub's goes in depth to discover the importance of self talk and the words we use when we talk to ourself in The Voice of Reason. Researchers have found that not only is positive self-talk important in feeling happy and successful, but addressing yourself by name specifically is especially beneficial. Why? It switches something in the brain - we go from this pattern of self-deprecating phrases to tuning in to what our family or friends would say to us and seeing our Self through the eyes of the other. Or we might think of what we would say to our friends or family if they were in a similar situation, and show ourselves the love we would show them. When faced with a challenging situation, one might think: "I can't do this, I'm nervous... what if people laugh at me?" We can switch it to, "Rima, you are strong. Sure, you might be nervous, but that's normal! Who cares what people say?" You immediately pull yourself out of the place of ineffective self-sabotage and instead going into a space where you create a supportive environment for yourself, seeing yourself with love, compassion, and a bit of objectivity.
Call to Action
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Scan through your life and make sure that the people you spend your time with are contributing to the positive advancement of your soul and life's purpose. If not, gently release that bond to the Universe to be healed and resolved.
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Know that trying and failing are inevitable parts of success, and that life happens in between the trying, failing, and perceived succeeding, so learn to enjoy the small moments of bliss (don't be so hung up on some final destination that may or may never come).
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Learn to be inspired by the actions of others and to support them as they support you.
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Finally, practice switching the voice in your head to one that addresses yourself by name, and sees yourself with all the beauty and love that others see you with.